Saturday, August 17, 2002
Rachel and I had a SLUMBER PARTY last night.. it was thrilling, as always. Our two person sleepovers usually are. Kickin', right, Rae? lol Anyway, we packed, watched "Change of Heart" and talked for a while before we fell asleep around two. Early night. We slept until 11:30 and then my mom woke me up so I could go have lunch with my daddy.. my treat. Rae and I showered together in remembrance of Haiti and the 4 girls who had to shower together there. (Sickos - we had our bathing suits on. I can see Erik's mind working already). I went to Arby's with my dad and I had curly fries. I love curly fries. I think they're one of the foods of the gods. Anyway, I got a chance to talk to my dad for a while, and that was great since he's been out of town for the past two weeks and he leaves again on Tuesday. My dad and I are really close, and I'm going to miss him a lot while I'm gone.
Random notes:
I love the new Our Lady Peace song. A lot. It reminds me a lot of someone I know.
* Remember me when you're homesick and need a change
I miss your purple hair
I miss the way you taste...
You're falling back to me
The star that I can't see
I know you're out there, somewhere out there.
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there, somewhere out there. *
I'm out. It's officially 2:14 pm. My clock is so screwy.
Friday, August 16, 2002
All right, here's where this thing gets put to good use. Tonight was spent at the boys' apartment. Cleaning. That's right, don't go back and think your eyes were deceiving you. That apartment has never been cleaner, except for maybe the day they moved in. And I think Ben and Chad did a massive overhaul on it one day. Other than that, this is the first night that you have been able to eat off the table. Really. Rachel and I did dishes, vacuumed, cleaned the counters, straightened up, piled the recycling and took out the garbage. Did we have help? What a great question to ask. No. We were there all by ourselves. Let's not get into this.. let's just go with the feelings.
This is my last Friday in Connecticut until November. Friday nights are sort of legendary in our group of friends.. parties, movie nights, hanging out - Friday night is usually set apart for the group of us that has grown up together. An unspoken law, maybe? David always drives up from his house 45 minutes away, and since I don't get to see him nearly as often as I need to or want to, I love Friday nights and Saturdays. Tonight I got to see him for 50 minutes. That's right - 50 minutes. I had been through some rough stuff this week that he helped me with, and I wanted nothing more than to cry on his shoulder and have him comfort me and tell me I was okay and that I could get through this. Instead, I barely got to talk to him. He was hunting a skunk or something, I don't know. And I was upset and maybe he was scared to talk to me (when I get upset, I can be extremely intimidating). Plus, Dayna was there, and she's intimidating all by herself. We're freaks of nature, what can we say? But still.. and I don't know if I'm going to get to see him tomorrow, and I want nothing more than to have him hold me and tell me I'm all right. I just realized that this sounds as if David is my better half - well, he is, but not in a couple sense.. he's one of my best friends. And maybe it's the whole leaving for school thing that's making me freak out over this when normally it wouldn't be such a big deal. But it still sucks. And now that that's off my chest.. why do I let guys get to me, anyway? All I need is my little sister beside me singing "Build Me Up, Buttercup" and the whole night is a billion, gajillion times better.
So here I am. I guess everyone needs their own spot to just sit down and write things out, and figure them out, and this is mine. I mean, I have my journal, but really.. did you expect me to share THAT with the entire world? So here I am to ramble and to live my life. And of course, to walk this way. Obvious reference to Aerosmith (I <3 that song) but even more than that.. no matter what, I walk and live my life in a way that's unique.. as Chad will tell you. I cribwalk like Scott, dance like no one else and skip around like Chad wishes he could do. Welcome to my life. You've been warned.
So today was weird.. it was my last Friday here in Connecticut, and for some reason I feel like my world is crashing. All I want to do is pretend that I have weeks and weeks left here with my friends, surrounded by all that is comfortable. Instead, everything is shifting underneath my feet and I don't exactly know how to deal with it.
