Rambling tonight.

I'm tired of being pushed one extra time by people. I just ask them to stop, and then I let them push me farther than I want to go.. in conversations, in assignments, in commitments. Why can't stop just mean stop without people getting upset?

I like to sit with my knees tucked up under my chin and my arms wrapped around my legs. I'm comfortable like that.

I never want to talk to certain people again. They make me upset. Is that wrong that I want to break ties?

I like who I am.. why does that bother people? Does it really matter that I'm confident and I'm comfortable with what I've become and what I'm becoming? Every day I grow a little bit more and find out a little more what makes me happy and makes me get through life. It grates against some people, I guess, but I know I have to learn to deal with it.

Starting right now, I won't be pushed any further than I want to go. And people can learn to get by with that, or they can be bothered by it. That's their choice. Alex told me today that sometimes I have to just make a decision and let other people react to it as they will, and he's right. Sooo.. I made a few decisions today and now I'm waiting for everything to hit the figurative fan and see what happens. Should be interesting.

I love lucky charms.

Oops, Adam's here. Talk to you later.. I miss my loser!! 11:24 PM
YourName | 8:24 PM

Man, the Rock says something awesome today and I can't even think of it. I hate when that happens.

Anyway.

Today was busy. It's my favorite day of classes though.. Tuesdays n Thursdays rawk. I have composition (from here on referred to as comp forever and ever) at 8:30. I know, I know.. it's my earliest class. But it's my favorite. My teacher, Miss Campbell, is soo funny; she's such a morning person, and her perkiness just makes me more awake. We have to journal for it but that's not a big deal because I do this journal, and then I do my regular notebook one. Sooo.. I don't lack for information to turn in, that's for sure.

Spiritual Formation at 12:30. Not bad. Our small group is the best in the whole world. Ohyesitis. Eric and I keep ourselves amused during the slow parts. We imagine the things we would say in front of the class if we had the guts. Sometimes we actually DO say them in front of the class.. or Eric does. For example, today we were discussing worldview and how we view things through our worldview. We were given different words and asked to just jot down our first thoughts on those words as soon as we saw them. We got to Britney Spears *giggles*. You can imagine Eric's words. I dared him to raise his hand and say "talented" and he did. Only he said "she's so talented" with a straight face while I burst into a fit of hysterical laughter next to him. So did the rest of the class. We lighten things up in there. Luckily Professor Mappes appreciates this about us. We're serious too - some of the time. Don't worry.

Nathan drove me home from class. From the SSC to Fort Maddox. I know, I know.. I saved a whole 3 minutes and walking in the blazing hot sun. Go me. Go Nathan.

DANGIT I KNOW THE ROCK SAYS SOMETHING FUNNY.

Jessica's 19th birthday was today. Her boyfriend and I and Alex and Ben and Suzanne and Janna and Raven (no his name is not really Raven. I don't know what his real name is though. hee hee). We went to Arby's *whaaaat? we have absolutely no extra $$. we're college students now, remember?* and Young's for ice cream. We brought a cake with us and almost lit our table on fire with the amount of candles. We bought the candles at Big Lots.. they were shaped like crayons and we got a huuuge kick out of this fact. Once again, our maturity comes to light. We forgot a lighter and/or matches, though, so we had to borrow a lighter from a passing stranger. Weeeelll it turns out that the cake was chocolate, and Jessica hates chocolate cake with a passion, so you can imagine how well that went over. Her mom sent us the cake, too. Lol.. her mom never gets her preferred cake down. Janna and Jessica used the cake for a frosting fight. Good times. They were a mess.. I stayed completely uninvolved.

Homework all night. Who knew college required this much work? Who knew?

Now I am talking to Dayna. *bounces in seat* And it's realllly late so I'm going to try to go to bed as soon as my Starbucks wears off. Thank God for frappuchinos to deal w/ Humanities homework.

I miss you guys back home. 1:04 AM
YourName | 10:04 PM

Okay, thanks to the adorable and gentle prodding of Cassie, I am updating this. I'm going to skim over the weekend and the beginning of the week and well.. you can just deal with that.

Sunday I.. what did I do on Sunday? Oh yes. Church. CedarFest. Alex bought me a stuffed pig like Alisha's. His name is Pig. I know, I know, I'll try to hold in the creativity next time. Sang karaoke w/ Clint - "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" *he did the high part*.. and w/ a group of girls - "Ain't No Mountain High Enough". I decided one thing.

I love karaoke.

My friend Eric painted the rock Sunday night to say "I <3 You, Leah" .. isn't that cute?

Now the Rock says "CU CLASSIFIEDS: Lonely senior male seeks cute freshman female before May 10". May 10 is either our end of year party or graduation. I can't remember.

Monday was our day off. Fireworks and such. It was fun.

Today I had classes all day. Lunch w/ Krystal. Dinner w/ Krystal, Jordan, Alisha and Ben. I am waaaay wicked full.

Gotta run - more later.

I love you silly dorks. 6:31 pm


YourName | 3:32 PM